


Don't you ever doubt my love for you

by ceeayeess



Category: Hit the Floor (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Jude Kinkade, M/M, Shoddy Journalism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 17:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8411047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceeayeess/pseuds/ceeayeess
Summary: It was a ridiculous five page spread, the kind of free PR which Zero would have loved in the past. But now, reading line after line of scintillating commentary on his scandalous dating history, the various gorgeous, leggy models he had dated and speculation on his exploits between the sheets, Zero just felt sick. Or:Jude is pulling away from Zero and Zero is at a loss about what to do. Thank goodness Lionel is there to save the day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A few things to take note of:
> 
> \- I'm not a journalist, please take the terms I've used and my descriptions of the celebrity gossip magazine industry with a massive pinch of salt.
> 
> \- This takes place some time between 3x04 and the summer special.
> 
> \- Quick warning here, Zero very briefly thinks about committing violence against a woman at some point in this fic. Granted, this never actually happens, but do not read if you think this may make you uncomfortable. 
> 
> \- I am so obsessed with Zude, it is not even funny.

Zero was worried. Something was up with Jude, he was sure about that. His boyfriend had been strangely distant for a while now.

 

Jude had begged off on a few dates already, either claiming that he was tired, or busy with work. The first time around, Zero hadn’t suspected anything was up, but by the third or fourth time, Zero was starting to sniff out a pattern. And that pattern suggested that it wasn’t so much that Jude couldn’t make the time to go out with Zero, but that he did _not_ want to.

 

Their sex life had taken a hit too. They were two hot-blooded young men who were crazily in love with each other, and needless to say the sex was fantastic. It wasn’t like Jude was suddenly refusing to have sex with Zero, or kicking Zero out of bed the moment the deed was done. But Jude was usually incredibly passionate and responsive in bed, never shy about voicing his pleasure at whatever Zero was doing to him, and returning the favour with aplomb the moment he had the chance to. And lately, Jude was…anything but that. He just seemed so quiet and reserved in bed. If Zero was reading Jude right, he could have sworn that Jude actually seemed to be distracted with thoughts of something else even when Zero was balls-deep inside him. Zero would have been offended, if he wasn’t so damn worried.

 

Zero hadn’t tried talking to Jude about it yet, because if he was to be totally honest with himself, he was terrified about what Jude might just tell him. Best case scenario, it would turn out that Jude was simply exhausted and stressed from work. Worst case scenario? Maybe Jude had found another man, someone hotter and richer and better educated and without all the emotional baggage that Zero carried around with him. And he was just bidding his time before he broke the news to Zero.

 

Logically, Zero knew that Jude would never do that. Their relationship was solid. _Jude_ was solid. The man was nothing if not faithful, and would sooner stab himself than betray Zero. It made Zero feel vaguely guilty to even consider the possibility that Jude was sleeping around with someone else behind Zero’s back. But it was hard to think logically when the love of Zero’s life was behaving like _Zero_ was no longer the love of _Jude’s_ life.

 

Everything began to make sense though, when Lionel came over to his place one morning for an unannounced visit. When Zero opened the door, she had strode right in without so much as a “Good morning” or even a “Hi, Zero”. Instead, she had slapped a magazine against his chest with so much strength that Zero actually winced. He grabbed the magazine before it could drop onto the floor, and found himself trailing after Lionel like a rather large and confused puppy as she settled herself on his couch.

 

“What the hell was that for?” he demanded.

 

Lionel raised an eyebrow at him. “Read that first. Questions later.”

 

Frowning, Zero looked down at the front cover of the magazine. The headline leapt out at him. _Zero – a ranking of his conquests off the courts!_ the letters screamed. The frown on his face deepened as he flipped through the magazine and found the article in question. It was a ridiculous five page spread, the kind of free PR which Zero would have loved in the past. But now, reading line after line of scintillating commentary on his scandalous dating history, the various _gorgeous, leggy models_ he had dated and speculation on his _exploits between the sheets_ , Zero just felt sick.

 

His heart sank further when he read _Conquest No. 5 – Jude Kinkade_ , alongside a head shot of Jude in what Zero affectionately and secretly dubbed his I-am-EVP-Jude-Kinkade-hear-me-roar face, expression stern and brows lightly furrowed. It was obviously a corporate picture, taken when he had first joined the Devils organization and was getting his ID pass made, probably. The rest of the paragraph made Zero’s blood boil – it was essentially an insinuation that _prim and proper Jude_ was the _flavour of the month_ because Zero was a man who believed that _variety is the spice of life_ , and it was likely that Zero would be _on the prowl once the novelty wore off_.

 

Disgusted, Zero threw the magazine onto the table. “What shit is this?” he growled. “Which bastard wrote this? Tell me, I’ll make sure –”

 

“Trust me, whatever you plan to do, it’s going to make this worse,” Lionel cut him off smoothly. “Who wrote this article isn’t the point here. The point is, this is just the latest in many similar articles. All along the lines of how unbelievable it is that you would choose Jude given your very public preference for hot young things, and how long it will be before you get sick of him and dump him for a new piece of ass.”

 

And just like that, Zero’s fury melted away, and he slumped against the table, deflated. It explained so many things. Jude’s withdrawal, his reluctance to spend time with Zero, the way something always seemed to be on his mind whenever he was with Zero. Zero hated himself at that moment, for not picking up on the subtle shifts in Jude’s mood, for simply assuming that it was plain job stress, and even worse, suspecting _infidelity_ on Jude’s part. For thinking the fault laid entirely with Jude and never once considering that Zero himself might have been the reason for it all.

 

“I…I never knew,” he whispered. “I could tell that something was wrong with Jude, but I never thought that it could be this.”

 

Was it just his imagination, or was that a flicker of sympathy in Lionel’s eyes? Whatever it was, it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “When the first article came out,” she said, her expression unreadable and her tone business-like, “We didn’t think too much about it. Jude knows that you love him, and he didn’t think you need to know about it. And you know how these gossip rags get. Once the next big scandal hits, they will be all over it, and this story will die off. Sometimes, the bigger your reaction is, the more it feeds the frenzy around the story, the worse things get.”

 

Typical Jude. Always bottling himself up, wanting to everyone to be happy but neglecting himself in the process. Always afraid to be a burden. Zero rubbed a hand over his face. “But you are telling me this now? Why?”

 

Lionel shrugged. “Because I know Jude, and no matter how much he protests, the stories _are_ getting to him. He is EVP, and he claims it is his job to be professional about this. But he’s also one of the very few people in the world I care about, and it is my job to tell you so you can do something about it.”

 

“What can I do about it?”

 

 “Two things. Or rather, two options. The first is, we continue with whatever we’ve been doing. Ignore it, let it die a natural death. The story was probably cooked up by some spiteful bitch whose husband is cheating on her with numerous women half her age. Other media outlets picked up on it and ran with it, adding their own commentary and opinions and _analysis_ ,” – at the word ‘analysis’, Lionel rolled her eyes and made two inverted commas with her fingers – “but it is just pure speculation. No videos, no pictures, no quotes, nothing. It is almost guaranteed to die a quick death once the story has run its natural course. Give it a few more days, everyone’s going to be sick of reading about it, and those mags will find something else to create an uproar over.”

 

“The second option?”

 

“Make an official statement. Shut down any reporters who are thinking of doing their own spin on the story next. The mags are going to have a field day with it, of course. Basically their cooked up story forced you to come out and make an actual statement about it. But it will put an end to it, fast.”

 

“And Jude?”

 

Lionel’s expression softened. “And Jude will get the reassurance that he needs, and stop moping around in his office like someone killed his pet dog. Seriously, the pouting and the puppy dog eyes are killing me.”

 

Zero grinned, suddenly feeling a lot better now that he knew just what was the cause of Jude’s distance this past week, and what exactly he had to do to fix things. “Option two sounds better by far.”

 

Lionel nodded. “I’ll speak to Jude, get it done. Unless you want to talk to him first?”

 

Zero stood up. “Both you and I know that I need to talk to him first, Lionel. Now, tell me, is he in his office now?”

 

“He is, actually,” Lionel got to her feet as well. “Need a lift there?”

 

“No. I need the time to myself to think,” Zero paused and looked at Lionel directly in the eyes. “Thanks.”

 

“No problem. Now go and make things right with Jude, or my promise to drive my car up your ass still stands.”

 

\-------

 

Zero hadn’t been lying when he said he needed the alone time during his drive to the Devils arena to think. But by the time he pulled up the building and parked his car, he still had no idea what he was going to say to Jude, and how he was going to say it.

 

How in the world would he even begin to breach the topic? _“I love you, stupid. Just say the word and I’ll punch the bitch of a reporter in the face,”_ probably wouldn’t cut it.

 

His stomach up in knots, Zero jogged into the building and took the lift up to the level Jude’s office was on. Jude’s secretary knew him by now, and let him into Jude’s office with an almost imperceptible nod of her head.

 

Jude was at his computer, typing up a report of some kind, when Zero stepped in. He looked up, caught off-guard, mouth opened into a small ‘O’ of surprise. A dark curl had came loose from its styling and was flopping over his forehead, and he was wearing that ugly brown suit which Zero hated with a passion, for its ill fit and its garish colour and the fact that it clashed with every single shirt that Jude owned. He looked so beautiful, Zero wanted nothing more than to sweep him into his arms and kiss the breath out of him.

 

“Gideon?” Jude walked over to Zero and gave him a quick, dry peck on the lips. “Why are you here? Is something wrong?”

 

Zero gave Jude his biggest, most winning grin. “What, I can’t drop by to visit my boyfriend without having some kind of agenda?”

 

Ah, there it was. That little lopsided smile that Jude reserved solely for Zero. Zero’s heart gave a little flutter of joy at having gotten it out of Jude.

 

“You’re going to be pretty bored if that’s all you are here for, Gideon. I’ve got a lot on my plate today,” Jude was already settled back in at his desk, fingers poised over his keyboard once more.

 

Zero chose his next words carefully. “Like that statement I’m going to make about me being head over heels in love with my boyfriend, and how I’m going to sue the shit out of the next magazine which dares to insinuate that I’m going to dump him for the next hot young model who falls into my lap?”

 

Jude’s hands, which had just began flying over his keyboard again, froze. “Excuse me?”

 

“You heard me.” By now, Zero had moved from the door to stand in front of Jude, effectively barricading Jude between himself and the desk.

 

“How did you know about this?” Jude’s eyes narrowed as he stared up at Zero. “You don’t read any of those magazines. You think they are trash.”

 

“I still think they are trash,” Zero shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I can’t tell when something is wrong with you. Doesn’t mean I can’t do anything about it.”

 

Jude drew his breath in sharply at that, opening his mouth to say what Zero knew would surely be a protest of some kind, that there never was anything wrong with Jude, so he just kept on talking, not letting Jude have the chance to interject.

 

“Were you ever planning to tell me about it, Jude? Or did you intend to just keep it all to yourself and suffer in silence and hope I’d never find out about it? How do you think you would feel if I tried something like that with you? Keeping things to myself, keeping you out of the loop?”  

 

Jude’s shoulders slumped, and the knots in Zero’s stomach finally eased, knowing that he had gotten through to Jude. “I didn’t set out to keep you from finding out about it. The article just suddenly appeared, and I didn’t think too much about it at first. It seemed so trivial to even bother you about it. Then more articles kept coming, and I started to wonder if maybe there was some truth in them. I mean, look at me! And look at _you_ ,” Jude gestured to himself, then at Zero. “You can have anyone you want. I’m this needy, neurotic mess of issues. I dress like a stuffy accountant. I don’t go out. I don’t have fun. You could do so much better.”

 

“Oh, Jude,” Zero sighed. He reached out and pulled Jude out of his chair and into his arms. Jude resisted for a moment, before melting into Zero’s embrace. “Whoever wrote those articles, I wish I could find them all and really tell them what I think about them. Because all this, Jude, is rubbish. You are gorgeous. I love that you dress like a stuffy accountant, because if everyone else knew you had that amazing body under that suit, I’d be so busy fighting off competitors, I'd have to retire from basketball for good.

 

You might be needy and neurotic, but you are also loyal, witty, intelligent, and a good man. I don’t need you to be some social butterfly who’s always attending parties and hitting the clubs. Been there, done that, and it’s nowhere near as fun as it looks. Spending time with you? Holding you like this? That’s what does it for me, Jude.

 

You are the one who could do so much better. I am the lucky bastard who gets to have you, and I’m so grateful for that every day.”

 

By the time Zero had finished his mini speech, his ears were burning a little from embarrassment. He had never been the verbal type, much preferring to let his actions speak for themselves. But he knew the importance of saying all this out loud – knew that would put to rest all of Jude’s insecurities once and for all. And, judging from the suspicious shine in Jude’s eyes, and the dazzling smile on his face, Zero had managed to do just that.

 

“You are amazing, Gideon,” Jude’s voice was awestruck, as if he hadn’t realized the sheer depth and intensity of Zero’s feelings for him until that very moment. “I love you so much.”

 

Beaming, Zero captured Jude’s lips into a soft kiss before breaking away.

 

“I was wondering what was wrong with you, when you were all quiet when I was pounding your ass last night. Usually you are screaming the roof off,” Zero teased, his heart feeling lighter than it had in the past week now that everything that had went wrong was set right.

 

That drew a loud chuckle from Jude. “That obvious, huh?”

 

Zero nodded seriously. “My ego will never recover. You need to make it up to me. We can start with sex on the desk.”

 

“Oh, come on,” Jude scoffed playfully, his eyes twinkling with happiness. “If anything, you should be thanking me for deflating your ego a little. Makes you more bearable to be around.”

 

Zero’s eyes narrowed. “Really?”

 

Jude's cheeky expression promptly transformed into one of alarm. “Gideon, don’t you dare –” whatever he was about to say trailed off into a high-pitched yelp as Zero dug his fingers into Jude’s sides, and proceeded to tickle him mercilessly until Jude was squealing and begging for mercy, and his secretary poked her head around the door to make sure that Zero had not murdered Jude behind the closed door.


End file.
